help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize