So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
