his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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