So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
