just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize