I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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