Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
