Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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