I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize