I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
