Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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