It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
