I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize