When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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