honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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