I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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