You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
