i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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