i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
