I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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