Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
