Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
