and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I could make wine with my vomit
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
