What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
