first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
