TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
