it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
