she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
