Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
