omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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