I just threw up on my dentist
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Randomize
