Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
