i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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