I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
