I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
