We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
