the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
