the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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