Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
