I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
