The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I fill condoms, not promises.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
