I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
In America we eat man semen.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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