belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize