This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize