going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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