At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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