One girl and one boy is just not enough.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She's the barista slut.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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