He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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