I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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