I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
