Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
