Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
