just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
