Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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