We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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