You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize