so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
