Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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