Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
