jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You can't motorboat a personality
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
