best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You're like the curious george of whores
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
