Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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