I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Small penises have feelings too.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
