Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
