I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
