We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
