Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
